I think I see the end of the tunnel..nope wait that is the headlight of the train coming at me!

I haven't blogged about our troubles because really it is very depressing.

In May hubster took a job in East Boothbay harbor. A job that we thought would pull us from our financial quagmire. The result was a furthering of our debt. It was costing us so much for him to drive there that we were literally overdrawing out bank account every week. In a vain attempt to better out situation the hubs applied to other places closer to home. He even asked his new "company" for a lay off so he wouldn't be wasting so much money. They laughed in his face. He contacted the Unemployment office to find out what his options were, and after lots of consideration, he gave his notice. He had two job interviews in that time and was offered a job at one of the places.

Now comes the shit.

After he "resigned" his position at work he found out the new place that "hired" him didn't get the contract they were bidding on and couldn't employ him. Now what the fuck do we do????

He filed for unemployment and was put on a NINE WEEK HOLD until his fact finding interview could be done. HOLY SHIT! 9 damn weeks. No income, no money. Oh shit!!

So we had to put our heads together and think of a solution to the problem. Easier said than done.

We held two yard sales that were disappointing at best.We decided to sell camp wood( at a friends store), to at least feed the family. But because it rained for the entire month of June and most of July, no one went camping and no one bought the wood. Okay, what next? Go to the town for general assistance. Great, sounds perfect. Ummm, not so much. After three weeks of playing phone tag and getting numerous doors slammed in my face we were finally told that because the hubs "quit" his job (no matter the reason) he was disqualified from general assistance for 120 days. Okay, fine, I'll apply alone. We were very nearly out of propane to cook with so that is what we got first. The catch? Workfare! Oh yes, I got to work at the "transfer station" also known as the dump until my debt to society was paid off. I have to say that I have never hated my life as much as I did while working there. It is the foulest place to be on a hot July day. Make that two hot July days. I finally told my hubs that I would no longer be going to the dump and he could kiss my ass if he so chose. My debt was paid and I wasn't asking for anymore help from the town.!!!!!!

I want to add that unless the town thinks your situation is an emergency, you don't get help until you have completed 4 weeks of workfare. We got the propane because we were running on fumes. I guess lack of food is not an emergency in their opinion.

I have to add that during all of this time, now some seven weeks, we have both been looking for work. I have applied to numerous places but have not heard a peep from anyone. (sigh)

We finally relented and realized our situation wasn't going to change without some from of help. We swallowed our pride once again and went to the state for TANF (temporary aid for needy families) and applied for food stamps. Oh the humiliation continues.....

My case worker is a space cadet and I very nearly had to slug her right there in the DHHS office. We have applied, we have followed all of the rules, we have three very nearly starving children, yet like a big commercial airport, we are in a holding pattern.

Ugh!

I again swallowed my pride (something I am getting very good at) and called my brother. I asked him for money. I don't know if any of you have ever had to ask family for money before, but it is absolutely the most embarrassing thing I have ever had to do. Thanks to all that is good and holy, my brother was more than willing to send us some money. (by paypal, because the checking account is currently overdrawn) He even sent a little extra. Yeah, there were tears.

(yes we did have a big birthday bash for the hubs in July, but that was largely paid for by the people invited, bless their hearts)

Tomorrow, I have to call the caseworker first thing in the a.m., and remind her to put our food stamps through for Saturday so we can at least eat. Then on Tuesday if everything goes well our TANF will be put through and by Wednesday we should be able to buy toilet paper and soap again. (if everything goes well, but I'm not holding my breath)

By the Grace of God we are still holding on, but just barely.

I now understand how people become homeless, and how little kids are left to starve because really the government just doesn't give a shit about them.

And I find new meaning in the phrase, "what doesn't break you makes you stronger"